Recent Happenings

I'm not so sure I gave this blog the right name. A more fitting name would be "Taja's Ramblings" since I haven't been very good at updating lately. Forgive me.

So we finally were able to get it together enough to take family pictures. It's a bit ridiculous, but I've tried to schedule photos more than three times in the last year or so. Something always got in the way. Then I ran into an old friend at a work picnic for the company our husbands work for. She's a photographer and so I told her I was interested and she wasted no time in getting things ready. Thanks Jileisa!

Check her out! http://www.jileisajoyphotography.blogspot.com/

In other news, Tom is still working on grad school stuffs, I've been offered an internship close to home *hallelujah*, Emmitt is his happy, cute self, and we're getting along just fine!

Tough work, being super

New favorite passtime

Grad School Adventures

Tom has been going through the interview process for Physician's Assisting. So far, he has been to Pennsylvania and we all went to Arizona. The Arizona trip ended early this morning after an all-night drive that we've vowed to never do again. We've driven through the night once before on the way back from California, but that was when we were young and childless. Adding a small person to the mix makes things a bit more complicated. Emmitt has decided that screaming is a pretty fun way to use his voice...especially in a close space such as the car. Our ears had about had it by the time we reached Mesa. On the way back though, Tom explained to him in big-people language that he needed to stop the screaming and that we were very sorry we couldn't play with him just now. It was then that we realized Emmitt understands much more than we give him credit for because he kept crying softly, but the screaming stopped and he fell asleep shortly after. The only problem was we had to keep ourselves awake to drive the rest of the night.

Tom's grandparents let us stay with them on the way down. They live in St. George and it was the perfect half-way point. Emmitt absolutely loved Grandpa Allphin. It was so fun getting to know them better since the only time I've been able to talk to them was at our wedding luncheon. They put us up in a comfy bed and fed us some delicious homemade bread and pozole (sp?) and then french toast for breakfast. We are quite spoiled.

Have you ever heard of Hotwire.com? Tom's mom suggested it to us and we've always been pleasantly surprised at the deals we find. Hotwire is a travel agency of sorts that has deals with hotels all over. If a hotel hasn't been able to fill it's rooms, it gives a lower price to Hotwire and they pass the deal on to you. At least, I think that's how it works. You don't know what hotel you're staying in when you see the price, but you can ask for a minimum rating. We went with four stars for 70 bucks and we ended up in a pretty ritzy resort with the best pool, big rooms, and (my favorite part) free warm chocolate chip walnut cookies at check-in! (:

Not too shabby, eh?

For the record, and for my mom, these pictures are courtesy of some website. I am not the type to take a picture of my hotel room and then forget about grandparents, husband, and child.

Anyway, Tom went off to his interview leaving Emmitt and me to tour the little campus. Arizona's really pretty. I didn't take any pictures, surprise surprise, but we loved the palm trees and the mountains. I'm afraid that living in Idaho my whole life has made me kind of cold blooded, though. I like a warm day as much as anybody, but I define warm as 80-90 degrees. Above that, it's just too uncomfortable. Mesa was really warm and humid the day we were there.

The interview went well and I it was a good experience for Tom. We were sad to cut our little vacation short, but on the way back, we had an anniversary dinner. Our second anniversary is coming up, but Tom will be back in Arizona at another University, so we had to celebrate early. It was a nice break in the drive.

I take it back, I took one photo with Tom's phone. A double rainbow. You're welcome.

What does it mean?!!

It's true, isn't it? Then what else matters?

I wanted to share something that has made all the difference in my life. Without it, I wouldn't be who I am and I wouldn't have found the happiness and peace I know today. It is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
I'd like to relate a story that I've always loved. It is an experience from Gordon B. Hinckley, a past prophet of my church.

I met a naval officer from a distant nation, a brilliant young man who had been brought to the United States for advanced training. Some of his associates in the United States Navy, whose behavior had attracted him, shared with him at his request their religious beliefs. He was not a Christian, but he was interested. They told him of the Savior of the world, Jesus Christ, born in Bethlehem, who gave his life for all mankind. They told him of the appearance of God, the Eternal Father, and the resurrected Lord to the boy Joseph Smith. They spoke of modern prophets. They taught him the gospel of the Master. The Spirit touched his heart, and he was baptized.

He was introduced to me just before he was to return to his native land. We spoke of these things, and then I said: “Your people are not Christians. What will happen when you return home a Christian, and, more particularly, a Mormon Christian?”

His face clouded, and he replied, “My family will be disappointed. They may cast me out and regard me as dead. As for my future and my career, all opportunity may be foreclosed against me.”

I asked, “Are you willing to pay so great a price for the gospel?”

His dark eyes, moistened by tears, shone from his handsome brown face as he answered, “It’s true, isn’t it?”

Ashamed at having asked the question, I responded, “Yes, it’s true.”

To which he replied, “Then what else matters?”

 I love this story because of the diligence and faith shown by the young man. There are lots of questions that I don't know how to answer. There are issues so complicated that any solution doesn't completely solve the problem. Sometimes I feel like questions are being fired at me by those who aren't really looking for an answer, rather looking to tear at my beliefs and it frustrates me. And not just because those questions are to be hurtful or make me look stupid, but because I honestly don't have the answers.

But then I remember that another word for Religion is Faith. And Faith is believing something or acting on something that you're not 100% sure to be true or right, at least not by yourself. Why do I rely on faith? Because it works.

The biggest decisions I've made in my life like where to go to college, who to marry, and when to have children never came with a clear-cut "yes or no" revelation. But with each tiny step towards making a decision, I felt more and more sure of what was right. That's how faith works. We don't just wait around for Heavenly Father to tell us how and when to act. We take small steps in what we think is the right direction. If we're right, we'll feel at peace. If we're wrong, we will backtrack and come away with new experiences that teach us things we may not learn any other way.

Perhaps the hardest concept involving faith is accepting that we may not receive all the answers in this life. For example, I had a really hard time understanding why African American men were not allowed to hold the Priesthood before 1978. I also had a hard time with the church's history of polygamy. I still don't have an answer as to why, but through study and talking to trusted individuals, I know those practices were commanded of God. I have my own theories as to why these things were commanded, but I don't often share them because (1) they aren't in Mormon Doctrine, (2) I'm not through with my studying, and (3) everyone needs to ask their own questions about their doubts with a sincere heart and a desire to believe in order to gain a true testimony and strengthen faith.

Now, there's a big difference between swallowing everything you're fed and accepting things in faith. Faith isn't ignorance. Rather, it's asking and learning and still believing in the time between not knowing the answer and getting an answer. It's believing God is mindful of you and your doubts and that his way of teaching you is the very best way, even if it's not in your timetable. Testimony that is based on belief without question is not very strong. The adversary can use his own questions that poke holes in testimony and feed fear instead of faith. In order to illustrate what I'm trying to say, I made a little graph. (Don't make fun, I'm far from being an artist.) I've seen something like it before, but I couldn't remember where.

In the upper left, a person asks easy questions. They have a testimony, but it's not very strong because they don't study and they ignore the hard questions until somebody gives them an answer they believe to be true. It's too easy to be led astray in this quadrant and this testimony won't stand against the storms and trials.

In the bottom left, the questions asked are all fearful. They are the "what-ifs" and they demand answers on our schedule, rather than the Lord's. If that timing isn't met, then the person concludes that the doctrine must not be true. Eventually, these questions lead to falling away.

In the bottom right, we again have both faithful and fearful questions. People in this quadrant have a desire to believe the doctrine, but they won't let go of the doubts. They study, but they listen to two sources (Matt 6:24). They won't take a step of faith and test the principles they've been taught, so they get stuck and can't progress, leading to frustration and more doubt.

The top right quadrant includes people who have tested the things they've been taught in the church and have found them to be true. They let those experiences fuel their faith and continue to progress at an exponential rate as long as they keep asking faithful questions. You can find joy in this quadrant.

People in all four quadrants experience trials and sadness. We all go through times of weakness and we've probably all experienced all four areas on the graph. It is my hope that we can all get a taste of the upper right quadrant so that we want to go back for more. The doctrine of Jesus Christ and his Atonement, the Father and Son's love for us, and the still small voice of the Holy Ghost to confirm it all are the way to happiness in this life.

I'll leave you with this talk: Lord, I Believe

And I hope you have a lovely day!